‘Girl next door’ advocates for recovery

Jan 28, 2020 at 3:02 PM

HAMPTON — When Jesse Hurlbert was an intravenous heroin user, her arrests were published in newspapers, she was jailed, overdosed, held in psychiatric wards and found her boyfriend dead of an overdose on her birthday.

"I grew up in Stratham, I didn't have a broken home, I didn't come from the wrong side of the tracks, I had everything I needed on the outside," she said. "I started with prescribed pain killers and progressed into full-blown IV heroin addiction."

On Feb. 17, Hurlbert will mark two years of continuous sobriety, she's a certified recovery coach and enrolled in a master's program at the University of New Hampshire. She's working through a grant from the Recovery Friendly Workplace initiative, at SOS Recovery Center in Hampton, and said, "I am super passionate about my job and being an advocate for recovery today."

"I want to share with others how much is possible with recovery," Hurlbert said. "I don't want to be defined by my past, I want to show others that it can be just part of the journey, leading you to your true potential."

In a speech she now gives to high school students, Hurlbert said she grew up in a big house, graduated from Exeter High School, played soccer and usually made the honor roll. She studied abroad, her parents paid for her education and said, "I had a lot going for me. I was the girl next door."

Hurlbert said she was also bullied and anxious as a child. In high school she started smoking pot daily and getting drunk every weekend. In college she "started severely abusing Adderall and cocaine," she said. Then after graduation, Hurlbert said, she began working for her family's auto dealership, became a mother and addicted to pain pills.

In 2013, she fell in love with a man who was addicted to heroin.

"It wasn't very long before I was injecting heroin with him," she said. "Suddenly I was living a life I wasn't prepared for and no longer recognized myself. I was forced to find ways to afford my habit, involving lots of high-risk choices and behaviors. I got arrested at gunpoint in Lawrence and within four months of picking up heroin, I lost everything in this order: My steady job as a manager at my father's business, the home I owned and put my blood, sweat and tears into, my license and new car, eventually custody of my son and my pride and self respect went, too."

Hurlbert said the worst came three years ago when she found her boyfriend in his bedroom, dead from an overdose. She said she "shattered under the magnitude of it all," the next day getting arrested and held without bail because she violated terms of her probation.

In a jail cell, she missed her boyfriend's funeral. After her release, she was kicked out of rehab, then "bounced in and out of psych wards, rehabs, sober livings, drug court and jails," she said.

"I would be Narcaned back to life numerous times and still the insanity would continue, Hurlbert said.

Until one day, in a moment of clarity, she realized she would be going back to jail or die. Hurlbert said she instead began work through a 12-step program, did hot yoga, called her sponsor and listened.

She said it's been hard work and some days "sobriety sucks," but after almost two years, the pieces are back together. Hurlbert said she regained custody of her son, her parents are proud of her and she loves her work.

"I want the community to know that heroin addiction doesn't look like what people think; it can look like the girl next door," she said. "I keep showing up and I remain honest and above all I don't use drugs. Today, I work at a recovery center and I help other people that are struggling and sometimes, I struggle, and they help me."