“Beautiful Boy” author David Sheff speaks about son’s drug addiction, broken treatment system

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As a parent you do everything possible to make sure your children are safe from harm.

You educate them on the dangers of the internet, about the affects and consequences of using drugs and alcohol, safe sex and more.

You think you’ve done your job as a responsible parent so when you stumble upon marijuana or other drugs in your kid’s backpack or bedroom, it sends your mind reeling with questions.

You start to think things like “this doesn’t happen to families like ours,” “all kids experiment” and “it’s just a one-time thing.”

Anne Lamott advises, ‘Try not to compare your insides with other people’s outsides.’ That is, it may look as if everyone else is doing great, their kids are sailing through. But no one sails through.” — “Beautiful Boy” pg. 320 by David Sheff

Author David Sheff thought these same things until he realized it was happening to his family, his son wasn’t just experimenting and it was more than just a one-time thing.

In his book “Beautiful Boy,” published in 2009, Sheff chronicles the journey of his son, Nic’s, addiction to drugs, numerous stints in rehab facilities and the effect it had on his family.

On Nov. 8, Sheff visited the Broomfield Library to participate in the One Book One Broomfield author talk where he spoke about drug addiction in the U.S., the broken rehab system and the shame and embarrassment parents often feel when they have a child addicted to drugs.

“I had this image of what a drug addict looked like,” Sheff said. “Homeless, possibly psychotic, high; that’s what a drug addict was as far as I was concerned.

“They didn’t look like my child.”

Sheff quickly learned that drug addicts look like all of us — and our children.

Sheff first learned of his son’s drug use when he found a bad of marijuana in Nic’s backpack. Nic was 11 years old at the time.

Nic’s drug use escalated to the point of using acid, mushrooms, ecstasy and crystal methamphetamine. Nic would snort, smoke and shoot drugs into his body; using any method possible to high. He would steal and even worked in the sex trade to get money to buy drugs.

Again, Sheff thought this could not be “my child.”

“Because of the stigma that comes with drug addiction and mental health, we don’t talk about it,” Sheff said. “And when we don’t talk about something, we feel like we are alone; like we are the only ones suffering.

“But when we share our stories, we realize that we aren’t alone and we are in this together.”

Sheff went on to explain that some common thoughts around addiction are that the person is selfish, morally bereft, they lack willpower or there must be something terribly wrong with their family.

“When my son became addicted, I didn’t tell anybody for a long time,” Sheff said. “And I didn’t tell anybody because I was ashamed. I didn’t want people to judge Nic and I didn’t want people to judge me.”

In 2018, 70,237 people in the U.S. died from a drug overdose, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, with 1,015 of those deaths being Coloradans.

“We lose 200 people to drug overdoses every single day,” Sheff said. “I hear these statistics in the newspaper, on the radio and television, but the problem with statistics is that they dehumanize the drug problem. Numbers cannot communicate the suffering.”

Nic went through eight rehab programs over roughly ten years before he was diagnosed with bi-polar, depression and anxiety disorders.

“We have an addiction care system that is broken,” Sheff said. “It is based on a time when we considered drug use to be a sign of a person who lacked willpower and we didn’t treat people that were addicted in the way we treated people with any other disease.”

Addiction treatment begins with looking at a person’s mental health, Sheff said. Until treatment centers start looking at peoples’ mental health, the addiction crisis will only continue to grow and get worse.

Since getting treatment for his mental health issues, Nic has been sober for nine years.

Denver resident Brittany Kitchens, 31, who attended the talk was addicted to heroin for six years.

Standing in front of the stage, Kitchens thanked Sheff for having the courage to tell his family’s story.

“I randomly picked up your son, Nic’s, book, and I can’t tell you how many times I read it,” Kitchens said. “Your son saved my life and you saved my dad. I gave my dad your book ‘Beautiful Boy’ the morning I went to treatment.”

This past July Kitchens celebrated four years of sobriety. Wanting to show her gratitude, Kitchens gave Sheff her four-year sobriety coin, asking him to give it to Nic.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Sheff took the coin and hugged Kitchens, thankful that another person overcame addiction to live another day.

“Beautiful Boy” has been published in a dozen languages and made it to number one on the New York Times bestseller list, as well as garnering a handful of awards and accolades.

In October 2018, Sheff’s book was released as a film by the same name, starring Steve Carell , Timothee Chalamet, Maura Tierney and Amy Ryan.

In addition to penning “Beautiful Boy” and follow-up novel “Clean,” Sheff has written pieces for a variety of newspapers and magazines such as Wired, Rolling Stone, The New York Times and Observer Magazine in England. He has interviewed people such as John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Tom Hanks, Jack Nicholson and Steve Jobs.

Sheff is on the advisory boards of the Jed and Clinton Health Matters Campus Program and the International Bipolar Foundation. He founded the Beautiful Boy Fund to help identify and support research in addiction medicine.

Books “Beautiful Boy,” “Clean” as well as “Teak,” written by Nic Sheff, can be found at a variety of retailers such as Amazon, Kindle, Apple Books and Barnes and Noble.

For more information on Sheff, his books or speaking engagements, go to http://www.davidsheff.com.

— Tamara Markard is the Go+Do reporter for the Greeley Tribune, covering things to go and do in Greeley, Evans, Windsor and surrounding Weld County. Reach her at tmarkard@greeleytribune.com, (970) 392-4440, or on Twitter @Tmarkard1.