Remembering Haley: Tumultuous life cut short

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CHATHAM — In the fifth grade, Haley Marie Decker wrote a letter to her future self.

“I will be loyal and have a lot of spirit,” she wrote in neatly penciled handwriting on a piece of lined paper torn from a spiral notebook.

Then 10 years old, she wrote that she would be a great person in high school and have others look up to her, then go on to be a lawyer with a kid and a husband who took good care of her and made her happy.

That letter arrived at her father’s home in Chatham last year as Haley should have been preparing to finish high school.

By then, the bright-eyed girl was years into addiction and behavioral issues that no one could save her from, no matter how hard they tried.

The early years

Haley was born June 18, 2001, in Galesburg, and attended Galesburg schools through the fourth grade.

Her father, Sam Decker, who is originally from Alexis, had an older daughter from a previous marriage when Haley was born.

Her parents would have three other daughters, including a set of twins born 15 months after Haley, and the youngest, born five years after that.

Haley was smart, talkative and energetic as a young girl, learning to walk at eight months old.

Called “Haley Bopper” by her family, she loved bike rides and skating, and she started playing in a softball league around age 4 or 5.

“She could really hit the ball,” Sam said. “She could smoke the ball.”

She played softball for several years, but lost interest, preferring to pick flowers in the outfield, her father said.

She also enjoyed cheerleading and volleyball.

In 2011, Haley’s parents split.

Sam got custody of the four girls, and they moved to Springfield.

As their mother, Tami, battled her own addictions, the girls were raised by Sam, who coached them in sports, helped with homework and shuttled them around on his own.

Haley began talking back and having outbursts, but Sam didn’t think it was out of the ordinary at first.

Then came sneaking out of the house, throwing fits and beginning to dabble in drugs.

“We had a lot of trouble with her,” Sam said. “She was very smart. She just used it in the wrong ways.”

On the move

The little girl who learned to walk so young would spend her teen years constantly on the move.

After acting out, Haley would go to stay with family members in other parts of the state, but it would never last.

At age 14, she went to rehab for the first time. When she came home, she sneaked out of the house to use a hidden phone.

When she took her older sister’s car from the house before she was old enough to drive, she earned a stint in a juvenile detention center.

Haley’s pattern was talking back, acting out and then running away.

“We would get her back and she would walk right out of the home,” Sam said.

Haley had been diagnosed with ADHD and also showed signs of being bipolar.

The problems continued as her drug use escalated and she became sexually active, revolting against the authority of her father and her teachers.

The police were called more than 50 times.

“She did things you wouldn’t believe,” Sam said.

With three younger daughters at home and Haley’s behavior spiraling out of control, Sam sought help from the Department of Children and Family Services.

In a situation known as a psychiatric lockout, Sam relinquished guardianship of Haley to the state in return for treatment options for her.

“The objective was to get her the help she needed,” Sam said, though he worried about repercussions.

There was no clear path for Haley.

From age 15 on, she was in the system, bouncing in and out of foster homes, group homes and treatment facilities across the state, landing sometimes with family members or back home with her father for a few days, or ending up in a drug house or a hotel.

She witnessed unfathomable things for anyone, much less a teenage girl.

Sometimes Haley would run from help, and other times she would be turned away from facilities her father tried to get her into.

Though Sam doesn’t blame the individuals in the system who tried to help her, he regrets the decision to turn her over to the state.

“She got worse in DCFS care,” Sam said. “She was unstable and she knew how to work the system.”

An intense addiction

At 15, Haley got pregnant.

While expecting her child, she settled down in a group home in Chicago.

On Feb. 20, 2018, when Haley was 16 years old, she gave birth to a boy she named Parker.

“She was doing really well with the baby for a few months,” Sam said.

It didn’t last.

Soon, Haley called relatives to help, handed off her son, and was on the move again.

“What Haley would do is just run off,” Sam said.

As Sam’s sister cared for Parker, Haley’s life got darker.

The realization that she was prostituting herself was followed by a call to her father that she was being held captive in a sex ring in Chicago.

The family was able to rescue her from that situation, and charges were brought against her captors, but Haley again was off on her own, and heavily using drugs.

“The addiction was intense,” Sam said. “Her drug of choice was meth and she was shooting it.”

Sam said his relationship with his daughter was extremely difficult during those tumultuous years, but he always wanted to do right by his little girl while protecting and caring for his other children.

“She had a lot of animosity toward me, but she still loved me,” he said.

Can’t comprehend actions

Haley eventually met an older man in his 30s and the two started a relationship. The pair reportedly lived in Peoria, and then Bloomington-Normal.

Sam knew his daughter was working as a prostitute to support herself and her addictions.

Caught in a loop of drug use and trauma at a young age, Haley could no longer comprehend her actions, her father believes.

The last time Sam spoke to Haley was when she called him on his birthday in November 2019.

Then the holidays came and went without a word from her.

“It got to the point it seemed like that was just normal,” Sam said.

Sam knows Haley was in Galesburg in December because she was ticketed for driving on a suspended license and operating an uninsured vehicle.

Late in the year Haley made a couple of Facebook posts about being in an abusive relationship.

On Jan. 22, Haley posted on Facebook that she had moved to Sikeston, Missouri.

A few days later, on Jan. 25, a friend received a Snapchat photo from Haley tagged in Morehouse, Missouri, about six miles from Sikeston.

That was the last time anyone heard from her.

No word from Haley

It wasn’t uncommon to not hear from Haley for a while, though concern for the well-being of the 18-year-old was a constant for her father and extended family.

But when no one — not an aunt or a cousin or a friend — had heard from her in weeks, the family started feeling a heightened concern.

Then Haley’s son’s birthday passed in February, and she didn’t call.

Sam said even though Haley was not raising her son or seeing him frequently, she loved him and would buy things for him and check in when she could.

“She was also a very generous person,” Sam said.

There had been no Facebook posts, no texts and no Snapchats for weeks, either.

Haley was reported missing out of Normal — her last known address — on March 4.

Sam and family members had searched for her on their own in Normal. The older boyfriend was cooperative and concerned, and Sam’s instincts told him he wasn’t involved.

Then they went to Morehouse in search of clues of Haley’s whereabouts.

As soon as they crossed the city limits, Sam felt something come over him.

His arm went numb, and he would later learn it was an anxiety attack, something he’d never experienced before.

“I felt like it was her telling me something,” Sam said. “That was just in my heart.”

‘She didn’t want to die’

The whole time Haley was missing, Sam believed something terrible had happened to her.

Three weeks after the 18-year-old was reported missing, her body was found in the Cypress Creek National Wildlife Refuge in Pulaski County in southern Illinois.

The details of the discovery were brutal.

Haley’s five-foot three-inch body was found inside a suitcase, a horrifying outcome for the troubled teen and those who loved her.

“I loved her so much and I feel so bad,” Sam said. “I know she didn’t want to die.”

On April 16, police made an initial arrest of James A. Merritt, 32, of Morehouse on sex trafficking charges.

Following an investigation by the Missouri State Highway Patrol Division of Drug and Crime Control, the Illinois State Police and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Merritt was subsequently charged with first degree murder, tampering with physical evidence, and armed criminal action.

According to the investigation, Haley is believed to have come into contact with Merritt online. After meeting in St. Louis, Merritt brought Haley back to his home in Morehouse and reportedly was trafficking her.

Cellphone data shows both of their phones at Merritt’s home on Jan. 25, and Merritt’s device later traveling to southern Illinois.

Evidence of blood was also found in Merritt’s home and vehicle.

“I would love to take justice into my own hands, but I can’t do that,” Sam said.

A flood of emotions

Sam now deals with a flood of emotions about his daughter daily, and is committed to remembering the good times while parenting his other daughters.

Sam’s sister has guardianship of Haley’s son, and Parker’s father is also in his life.

Haley’s life was troubled, but her father says she deserves to be known for more than her problems.

“I am not going to justify any of her actions, but I know she had a good heart,” Sam said. “There has not been a day when I haven’t shed a tear.”

Sam remembers Haley’s love for people and animals, her intelligence and her generosity.

“She trusted people a little too much, maybe,” Sam said.

Even as she struggled, the talkative girl with dreams of being a lawyer and having a family of her own was still there, somewhere.

The sorrow is inescapable for Sam, who says it hurts to think about Haley, yet he never wants to stop thinking about her.

“If I can’t forget her, then I’m always going to be in pain,” he said.

There will always be questions about Haley — how she fell so fast and hard into addiction and trouble, if something or someone could have saved her, and why her life had to end this way.

“I want to know why he did that. I want to know if she hurt,” Sam said. “Maybe we will never know.”

Merritt remains in custody at the Mississippi County Detention Facility in Missouri. Online records show he is scheduled to make a court appearance on June 15.